Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Hey Ya'll! It's Wednesday, and I'm finally beginning to feel like the week is actually moving. Is it me or did it feel like Monday and Tuesday were each 48 hours long? At any rate, here we are at the hump, and the rest of the week is seeming a lot more doable. Very excited about the upcoming weekend...going up to NY to see the new baby, and to participate in some much needed retail therapy. I KNOW, I'll have wonderful things to report about our brothers and sisters to the North, so be sure to tune in for the updates.

From the title I'm sure you can tell that I'm going to be talking about cheaters today, but before we go on, I want to talk about a few of my pet peeves. The only reason I want to mention them is because since I've been at work today, I've been bombarded by ALL of them. I don't have many, but the ones I have are very irritating. The first and most annoying is talking with your mouth full...on the phone. I hate it in person too, but more than anything over the phone. If you're eating your breakfast, WHY would you call me to go over a job description edit. Finish your sandwich, and THEN call me. Now I can understand if I call you, it's still irritating, but you have no control over that one, but WHY call me when you're eating?! Second and almost as irritating as talking with your mouth full is, finishing my sentences. I HATE that. If this is the indication of tru love and soulmate hood (sp?), then I don't want it. Have you ever been talking to someone, and someone else in the conversation tries to say the last few words of your sentence with you. 1. They never get it right, and therefore end up looking stupid, 2. Why are you doing that? What exactly do you hope to accomplish? Are you trying to showcase your supernatural skills of foresight? Hate it Hate it Hate it. OK, the vent/rant is over. PS. This does NOT just happen to me at work. I've found that guys that are trying to "impress" tend to do this pretty often too, and rather than impress, it makes me look at the phone when you call and think, " I want to listen to this fool tell me what I have to say?"

This Saturday as I was lounging around at the beginning of my day, I was flipping through the channels and came across a "Cheaters" marathon. (Sidebar: Why does "Cheaters" come on G-4? That's the videogame channel. I feel like it should be on the CW or something, anyway...) Seeing as how I'm addicted to reality TV, I curled up on the sofa and committed myself to watching at least three episodes. This is a very funny show. In case you aren't familiar with the plot: quite simply, it's a show in which one person thinks their mate is cheating on them, and they call the show to catch them cheating. It starts with an interview with the scorned lover, in which they explain all of the reasons they think they're being cheated on, and throughout the interview, WE get to see surveillance that confirms this. After the interview, the host, (who btw, is the most patronizing fart you'll ever meet), shows the cheatee all of the surveillance that we've already seen. If the cheatee is a man, you can almost guarantee there will be tears, the girls pretty much just get really pissed off and militant about NOW, not taking this anymore. So then they "confront" the cheater. It's great because the cheater is ALWAYS with their new "friend", and 9 times out of 10 show no sign of remorse whatsoever. So of course, this means that now the cheatee attacks the new "friend". Only, in one of the episodes I saw Saturday, the poor guy couldn't attack the new "friend" because it was a GIRL. His girlfriend was cheating on him with a GIRL. So true to form, he a girl.

Then, it was as if I saw myself on the screen...the cheater got pissed. THIS would be my reaction. Let me explain. As stated in the last blog, I'm one of those, "don't like to reject" girls. So unless something is blatantly wrong with the relationship, I won't really have the guts to break up. At least not until I just can't stand it anymore, and that usually take about a week, lol. So there have been the past...that I've cheated (don't get your panties in a bunch, this won't sound so bad in a minute). I've cheated because I didn't know how to break up with the current, but still wanted to be with the new. (Sidebar: I'm not a CHEATER, sometimes I just break up with people, and neglect to tell them right's something I'm working on.) Anyway, with someone like me, this whole "HA, gotcha!!" thing just wouldn't work. I'd be like, "whew, thank this means it's over right?" But TWO seconds later, I'd be LIVID. I'd be angry for a couple different reasons. 1. I no longer care about you enough to endure the embarrassment of having my business put on television. 2. I would really like to know what you sought to accomplish with this stunt. If you think I'm cheating, ask me. I'll be very honest, especially since if i'm cheating, all I need is a conversation starter, I'm begging you! Am I cheating, yes I am, and I'm sorry, but I don't think this is going to work out.

Now let's talk about the flip side of this. Well, now that I'm thinking about it, just a different side, not necessarily the flip side. What are some other reasons that people cheat? We've already talked about people like myself that cheat because we're punks. And have pretty much concluded that the punks are really only cheating as a cry for help to get out of the relationship. What about the people that cheat and don't want out of their relationship? This is a beast that I will NEVER understand. So much so that I don't really know what to say at this point. I'd like to hear some of your comments on this subject.

I guess the first task in attempting to figure this out would be defining cheating. I define cheating as anything that you wouldn't do in front of your mate. So to me, even a flirtatious text message is cheating. With this way of thinking though, there are different levels of consequences that coincide with the severity of the infraction, but nonetheless, repeated "cheating" won't be tolerated. Since this is my blog, we'll go with my definition of cheating. So to answer the question why, we'd have to ask and answer the question at every level. Why does someone accept flirtatious text messages? Anytime I've done something like this is because it makes me feel good about myself, makes me feel pretty, it's a harmless ego boost. The next level I would say would be to actually flirt in person, maybe even go to dinner or something. This is the person that has seriously crossed the line. What line you might ask? Jill Scott wrote a song that explains the first level very well.  And to be honest, this is the only level of cheating that I've ever reached, but based upon my definition of cheating, it's cheating nonetheless (I told you, it wasn't so bad ;-) ).  It's one of my favorites on the new album, because she was successful in capturing something that I would've never been able to explain if "caught".  See below:

I've been talking to this man
He's been saying what I like and
He makes me smile when I'm down
He says sweet things in my ear
All the things I've needed to hear
But that's as far as it's gone
I promise, I promise
But I enjoy it
I love it so
'Cause it seems like I'm always alone
You're at arm's reach
But baby, where are you?
'Cause I got this fire, sweet and tru
But I'm cold as ice around you
I'm lonely whenever you're around

Again, this isn't a valid reason for violating your relationship, but it's an honest and real explanation. At least it has been for me. When the album came out last summer, and I heard the song, I was immediately relieved and forgave myself for my past indiscretions.  This could also be considered a cry for attention, and can happen when you're generally happy and in love, but there's a rif, a separation of some kind. Usually emotional.

So have we answered the question at hand? Why would someone "cheat", but not be looking for a way out of their relationship? I guess there are a few answers. The first would be that the cheater may just be incapable of fidelity. The grass is always greener on the other side, but they aren't stupid enough to think that they can live their lives without some kind of ongoing companionship. Another reason could be that something is lacking in their relationship. In Tyler Perry's "Why did I get Married", the point is raised that you will only ever find 80% of what you want in a mate, in one person. If this is true, then something will always be lacking, and therefore a weak person might dibble dabble here and there tasting that other 20%. The thing that should keep you faithful is that the 20% ain't worth the 80%, if this theory is even true. Finally, the last reason that I think people cheat is that someone that truly is better may become available, or come along. This is the most difficult situation. When you're with someone, and for all you know, this is the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. At least, they look most like the image of this person you have in your head. And then one day, you meet someone that is EVERYTHING that you ever dreamed of. Or worse yet, you've known this person all along, but let's say they....break up with they're mate. All of a sudden the person that you've wanted most is available. But what do you do with the one you're with? They've done nothing wrong. They're quite obviously GREAT, the best of the best...if it weren't for this other one that's now available. What do you do? Please don't expect me to answer this question, lol. Because I have no idea. I could tell you what I've SEEN happen, but that's not really important here, lol. Please comment.

I guess the conclusion of the whole matter is to stay single until you can be with the one person in the world that you want to be with. I hear someone saying, "what if there's more than one person I want to be with?" You're just not ready, that's what. Of course there are other stipulations to making this work. You have to stay "prayed up". Pray for guidance so you don't muff the whole thing up. You have to be in-tuned to people's spirits. Don't just look for a physical attraction, seek a spiritual attraction. And most importantly, don't ask more of yourself or someone else than you or they are willing to give. When it's right, it happens automatically. You shouldn't be faithful to your mate starting the day that you make it "official", it's something that should've happened in you by default, because you just don't want to be with anyone else. No one is afraid of commitment. Everyone can and will commit to whom they're supposed to. We just spend too much time trying to force it.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I'm not in the Mood

I want to start this blog by saying that I've always really enjoyed the whole blogging thing. I started keeping a very comical blog on myspace a couple years ago, and as my fascination with myspace dwindled, there went the blog. This in no way meant that I didn't have clever things to say anymore, it just meant that I lacked a medium. Then I began to think about what I thought many times when wanting to share things in a blog that might be recognized by my readers (yes, I said my readers...whether there are 4 or 400, they are still my readers, lol); how do I share some of the funny things that happen to me that involve others, knowing that some of them read this thing? I used to think this all of the time as I watched "Sex and the City". I used to wonder, "Does Big ever cuss Carrie out for airing their dirty laundry?" Then I had this thought: no one but Carrie's friends know Big, or that he's dating Carrie, so truthfully, the only people that would know what she's talking about are Samantha, Miranda, Charlotte, and Big; and truthfully, the anything in the column that has to do with that, they'd know about it all either way. In this case, it just serves as something to help the days go by for a bunch of strangers. So, I'm going to throw all caution to the wind and have a little fun myself; recognizing that everyone that reads this blog falls into one of two categories: either you have no idea who or what I'm talking about and are just genuinely entertained by what you read, or you knew everything that's being said here without ever opening up the blog link. I believe the two categories neutralize one another and make the blog totally harmless. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I will however, offer this piece of advice,, if I mention something that involves you, please don't "OUT" yourself by commenting on it. Let's put on our thinking caps people. On to the blog!!!

One of my girls and I were talking about the phrase "I'm not in the mood". Common translations include: "I'm tired", "I have a headache", "I'm on my period", "I'm celibate", and "I have a GYN appointment tomorrow". Would you like to know what they ALL mean? "I don't want to". I know the next question is, "Why don't you just say that?" The truth of the matter is that we still want YOU to want to, but we just don't want to right now, lol. Or maybe ever. Let me explain: In the same way that men don't like rejection, women don't really like to reject all that much either. This is why we give fake numbers; ignore cat calls; don't return phone calls, emails, and texts; and THEN when we see you out and about, we act like nothing is wrong, "I just had to go visit my grandmother on Mars for the past few months, but she's fine now, and I'm back, so call me sometime and we can do lunch." We don't like saying no, unless you've done something to deserve it. I know you all are probably thinking this is BS, but ask any woman. Unless she's just an unbelievable b*tch, she'll tell you that we'd much rather tell you something that will make you leave us alone, than to sit down and actually tell you that we want to be left alone. I know it's childish and selfish, but no one is interested to adding to their "number" just because they didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. We're too old for that mess, lol.

It's always interesting to watch yourself grow up. To take a moment to take inventory on your life, and see what you've accomplished, where you are in comparison to where you thought you'd be. I think the thing that is the biggest shock, is realizing that you've actually grown up. I don't imagine that you can actually take a toll of how much you've actually grown until you're single, out of your parents' house, and truly living on your own. Your desires change, your ambitions change, and you when you listen to yourself talk you think, "is that me?"

Perfect example: I no longer want to get married. Before you all flip out, make sure you continue to read, because I'm going to explain myself very well. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to get married. I've wanted to get married and have babies. And every decision that I've made in my life has been with that in mind. Whenever I date guy I think, "could he father my children", "could I see myself spending the rest of my life with him". In the process of trying to find the one that has the most of the "must haves", I'd developed a whole new list of "must haves", and wondered why I wasn't TRULY fulfilled in any relationship. There should be a period of re-evaluation. A period of time when you sit back and think about what you really want. Because your wants change. I still want babies, but I no longer want to get married bad enough to have to deal with certain things. Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a single parent either, so I WILL get married, lol. But you get what I mean. I don't want to get married, I want to meet and spend the rest of my life with my soulmate. And I'm no longer afraid that I won't be found by him. Neither am I naiive enough to think that I haven't already met him, or even been with him, but one or the other of us wasn't ready. I guess what I'm saying is that marriage is no longer important enough to be the only thing that I do for the rest of my life. So, with that realization comes quite a different Myra. One that most people aren't used to, and one that I'm finding intimidates people more and more. The good part is that I don't care, lol.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

"Where's You Sense of Adventure Augusten?"

Ok, it's been a few days, and I'm sorry for the lack of postings. I haven't been feeling all that well. It was a combination of things, but I feel tons better, and I'm back on the ball. Happy Birthday shoutout to Sdot...Party at RNR tomorrow. OK, onto the blog.

Please read the following exerpt from the book I'm reading, and then we'll really get into it.

"Somehow we end up in bed. It seems clear that we have nothing in common, but Raoul invites me up to his apartment - a two-bedroom on Central Park West - and I accept because his muscular calves seem to have a curious power over me. Once upstairs, he tells me again how sexy I am.

I am ashamed that I am so easily swayed by this compliment. All my life I have felt bad about my skinny body. So I have worked out for years and have grown much larger and stronger, and although my own mirror still reflects back to me the image of a skinny kid, other people see somebody else entirely and sometimes want to sleep with him.

Raoul takes his shirt off, and his chest, muscular, hairy, masculine, engages my interst. And within ten minutes we are undressed and in bed.

It turns out Raoul has a condition known as micropenis. This means his penis is less than three inches long, fully erect. It looks like a large clitoris, sticking out above two balls."

This is an exerpt from "Magical Thinking" by Augusten Burroughs. This is the guy that wrote "Running with Scissors". Let me just say, I read the above exerpt while on the train yesterday, and literally laughed out loud. Now, recognizing the fact that women and gay men alike, like to come up with pseudo diseases to describe the shortcomings of men, I was a little hesitant to believe that "micropenis" is actually a disease. We've all heard the stories of the "short" man, but come on....micro? So I looked it up. Good ole wikipedia gives a full description along with pictures of flacid and erect micropeni (and let me just tell you, there isn't much difference in the two ).

The thing that makes the above exerpt so funny is the part that I left out. This guy clearly has no idea that he has this...problem. Which is evidenced by him repeatedly making reference to his large um....member, throughout the encounter. Augusten goes on to say "I am dizzy. I am literally dizzy. I was so shocked to encounter the micropenis and now am even more shocked to encounter his apparent lack of knowledge about the micropenis. I grip it in my hand, and it's lost, so I use my thumb and index finger to jerk it. I am now engaged in what I consider volunteer work. I am jerking him off purely out of pity."

Now, I think we can all recall a moment or two when we've experienced a not so enjoyable "encounter". The only thing that make it worse is your partner acting like he's Dirk Diggler...Just finish your business and get the help up, so I can be well on my way to never doing this again. Where do these men come from? Seriously. I remember being in arguments with an ex of mine, in which he'd make some very bold statements. All I wanted to do was "pants" him, and swing him around to the mirror. Don't you want to say to these dudes, "You do realize I've already seen it? You don't have to pretend."

While I can't say that I've ever actually seen a "micropenis", I can say that there are many levels of disappointment between the medically tiny and a normal appendage. As anyone that has ever shared a bottle of wine with me can tell you, I have quite an opinion when it comes to these men. And by "these men" I mean everyone from the long and skinny to the short and skinny, to the short and squat. This doesn't mean that you have to be HUGE, because to be quite honest, if it's too big, I won't let you near me. And I will honestly say that there is SOME truth to the assertion that it's the motion in the ocean and not the size of the boat. As we all know, this phrase was more than likey coined by a man with a small penis, or by a woman in love with a man with a small penis. I feel sorry for them both. There's nothing fun about living a life of complete disillusion. I've been in love with a man with a small penis, and the fact that I loved him didn't make his penis any bigger, nor did it keep me from contemplating cheating on him with my "not so little penis" ex. You would NEVER find me bragging about our sex life, it just didn't make sense, and in the end it would've served as nothing more than a way to piss me off instantly, lol.

While I know that there isn't anything that can resonably be done to fix this...problem...there are ways that a man can make himself desirable inspite of this handicap. The first step is to realize that it is actually a handicap. Also, don't keep telling yourself that the guys in the porno movies are freakishly big. Some of them are, yes, I'll give you that. But don't try to make yourself feel better by swearing that "nobody's that big". YES they are, and you should be intimidated, lol. So how do you get around this? Be nice. I was so angry with a "little man" one time that I actually said, "I wish you would act your d*ck size". This is the key. If you know that once you get in the bedroom you have absolutely nothing to offer, play your position. Send flowers for no reason; call when you say you're going to call; know my favorite color and food; keep your refrigerator stocked with my favorite chardonnay; watch the chic flicks; MASTER foreplay. If you can be a master of everything else, you might stand a chance. You don't have the luxury of not calling when you say you're going to call because, when "Mr. Crown Royal" doesn't call, I'm thinking about last night while I wait for him to call. When YOU don't call, I'm thinking about your baggy boxer briefs and contemplating whether I'll wait until after I get my Christmas present to delete you from my address book and block you from gchat. You see the difference?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Crown Royal on ice

I'm not really feeling well today.  I thought I might have a chest cold, but it's not really in my chest as much as it's in my throat down into my chest. I haven't been sick for real yet this year, this might be the one though. Hopefully not, it's all about the medication. I'll keep you posted on this one. Anyway....

I think I want to talk about a couple different things today. Thank you all for the notes, and the ladies that have taken the vow. I'm sure you can feel the difference already, if not, just hold on, it's coming. My contacts are fine, lol. I put in a new pair today...they're in the right eyes...and I'll be sure to take them out before I go to bed tonight, lol. Now that the update is out of the way...

Have you all done your taxes? I think this was the first year that I didn't do my taxes the second I collected my W-2. As you get older and acquire more things, your taxes become a little more complicated. And this year was serious.

I bought an online travel agency a couple years back, and this year I actually decided to do all of the write-offs that are one of the many benefits of owning a home-based business. Do you know you get to write off a portion of your house payment, car payment, car insurance, utilities, cell phone bill, cable bill, any meal in which you've "discussed" the business, and since it's a travel agency, ALLLLL of your travel?!!! Initially I was vexed because I wasn't able to do my taxes myself on and just use the "deduction maximizer". I actually had to GET a tax guy, and bring in boxes and boxes of receipts, bills, bank statements, etc. Since I hadn't really planned ahead for this, being a pack rat really came in handy, because I had ALL of this stuff, just had to empty out a few purses, clean out the car, etc, lol. So anyway, as we're sifting through all of this foolishness, I realized just how good of an investment the home based business is. I sit in the meetings and heard all they say about the tax benefits and so on, but it never registered. I'm thinking, I already bought the thing, I don't need to be convinced. Then, here I am, bad as I want to be, with boxes of receipts, and what will turn out to be quite a substantial tax return. All from going to work, having the travel channel, talking about travel at dinner, and going on vacation. I don't think it can get any better than that, but if so, please share...

Jam, Raina, and I went to the Jill Scott concert a few weeks ago, and I must say how pleased I was that she gave so much attention to one of my favorites on the new album: "Crown Royal on ice".

If you haven't had the immense pleasure of hearing this song, or better yet, experiencing what she's talking about, take a listen to this , and read the lyrics below:

Your hands on my hips pull me right back to you,
I Catch that thrust give it right back to you,
You're in so deep I'm breathing for you,
You grab my braids arch my back high for you
Your diesel engine, I'm squirting mad oil ah
Down on the floor til my speaker starts to boil
I flip s**t
Quick slip
Hip dip
And I'm twisted
In your hands and your lips and your tongue tricks
And you're so thick
And you're so thick
And you're so

Crown Royal on ice
Crown Royal on ice (On Ice)
Crown Royal on ice
Crown Royal on ice (On Ice)


There really isn't much more that can be said about the brother to which this song is dedicated. Not the one man she wrote it for, or was thinking about when she wrote it. I mean the proverbial "Mr. Crown Royal on ice"(I know we were on "Crown Royal on ice" a while ago, but forgive me, somebody just made me think of whiskey...). We can take this a lot of places. But let's start here: The founder of the church where I grew up used to always say, "Sin will take you farther than you want to go, and make you stay longer than you planned on staying". Now, just so you all know, this is not where I break into a sermon, preaching against fornication. We all know the deal. What I want you to do is replace the word sin with "good d*ck". THAT'S what I want to talk about, lol.

How many of us have stayed with somebody we KNOW we shouldn't have, because of the D? And I would be willing to bet my bottom dollar, THAT'S the man you thought about the first time you heard that song, lol. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you can't have a nice roll in the hay with a good man. But, "Mr. Crown Royal on ice", is the one that you think about in the middle of the staff meeting and PRAY, that no one can see you blushing.

The other thing that always makes me go "hmmmm", is that the "good" man, usually starts out as "Mr. Crown Royal on ice", but somehow, that thing he used to do from the side with your leg this way, and his that way, and...don't get me started...he just don't do it anymore, that is unless he comes home a little tipsy after a night at the club. As a matter of fact, eventually, you could probably maneuver your way through one of your "encounters", like a blind man can maneuver his way through the grocery store. It's not bad, just ordinary...and definitely not that whiskey that comes in the pretty blue bag. But for some reason, that no good son of a....could put it down EVERY time. SO much so, that when you finally shake him, eeeeevery once in a while, you think....maybe just one more And then prayerfully you snap out of it before you do something stupid.

Hopefully they figure out how to get both of these men in the same body before it's time for me to get married. Otherwise I don't know WHAT I'm gonna do...

Monday, April 14, 2008

Feeling Good!

Have you ever had a couple unnecessary things happen to you as you start your day and say to yourself, "Self, if one more thing happens, I'm going back home and getting in the bed until tomorrow"? Today started out as one of those days. I won't tell you all of the crazy things that happened to start the day, but let's just say, I was in such a rush, that I THOUGHT I'd put my contacts in backward, meaning the right one in the left eye and vice versa. So I'm sitting on the train, and ATTEMPTING to read my book, but I just can't focus, literally....I can't see. So I get off the train and haul it to my office. Go straight to the bathroom, and proceed to try and take out my left contact, with the intention of just switching them around. Much to my surprise, as I go for my pupil, I stick my whole finger directly in my eye...the cotton pickin' contact wasn't even IN there!! So, I pull out my contact case, and it isn't in there either. Lord have mercy!! I don't know when or how it happened, but I lost the stupid thing. All I could do was laugh, and throw out my right contact, and put on my glasses. Today's mishap, immediately followed me having way too much fun at my girl's wedding on Friday night, and sleeping with my contacts in, and my eye leaking ALL day Saturday. Help my Lord, I need to give my poor eyes a break. So, as I was saying, today started off as one of those, take my behind back home and get in the bed days.

I went about my day, had an unnecessarily long training at work, pizza for lunch, and then experienced a miracle. So much so, that I thought I'd write about it. I won't go into details, because the source of the miracle let's me know that some people that I thought couldn't get to me, actually can, but my closest friends know what I'm talking about. You don't need the details to get the point. Have you ever prayed for something so hard, and for so long, and waited without hearing anything, that you thought God forgot about you? And then you wait some more, and then you forget that you'd even asked for it? Then you finally just resign to be thankful that you haven't had to deal with it, and therefore be reminded that you aren't over it? Then out of nowhere, you're completely blindsided by something that should've sent you into the privacy room for tag team venting sessions with your girls to keep you from flying of the deep end. And just as you're about to go completely IN, you realize, I'm over this. Like, I'm really over it.

As you all know, I go to church every Sunday, and truly enjoy my time there. Yesterday was Youth Day at my church, which is really special to me, because everyone KNOWS how much I love the kids. Anyway, the preacher yesterday said, "Have you ever prayed for something for so long without an answer, until you just forget what you even prayed for? And then out of nowhere, God does exactly what he said he was going to do." This is one of those situations, and THAT is why I'm feeling good!!

Ok, so enought of that. I just had to give my testimony. I've been searching and searching my mental rolodex for topics that I'd like to discuss with you all. I think I'm going to talk about strangers today. Yes, I know. After you grow up, we don't really talk to much about strangers, mainly because they're no longer scary, as they were when we were little. But strangers are still around, and now instead of being scary, they're just plain irritating.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have a need for any NEW friends. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new and cool people. When you start a new job, you meet new and hopefully cool people. If you move into a new place you may gain a new and cool roommate (Hi CJ!!!), and then inherit they're new and cool friends. Or, you may move to a new area, and start hanging out at new restaurants, bars, clubs, and meet new and cool people there. These are not the people I'm talking about. For me to be talking about these people would make me antisocial, and not very much fun to be around, and as we all know, neither of these could be farther from the truth.

(If you've read this blog before, you'll notice that a very funny paragraph is missing....I took it out because it just isn't true anymore, lol.)

So as time passes, every woman kind of asks herself questions surrounding when she'll get married, and start to have children and all of that (that is if you don't already have children...but you know what I mean). I went to dinner and a movie with two of my closet friends yesterday and we started talking about this whole thing. I'm the baby of this particular group, and the other ladies are 32 and 33, the older is happily married with two beautiful children, and has been married for ten years. SO, she has lived the life that we've all dreamed of! Although I will say, if I would've married to the man that I was in love with when I was 23, it would NOT have been a good thing...Praise the Lord and AMEN. My 32 year old girlfriend began to talk about how her standards have changed, and how, things that would've been deal breakers for her when she was my age, are now just minor "bumps" in the road. As I began to protest she said, "oh no, you're fine right now, but if you don't find somebody by the time you get to my age, your tune will change". Then I thought about it, and realized how sad this really is. Will we eventually have to settle? As we talked, and pointed out the differences in each of us, I realized a number of things that make one situation a bit more futile than the other. She is over thirty and I'm not (as a matter of fact, I told someone I was 22 at my birthday party and he didn't blink an eye!). She has no prospects, and that isn't the case with me. She'd rather settle than be alone, and what I've come to realize more and more everyday, is that, even though I don't want to be alone, and that I WANT to get married and have children, that I'd rather live the rest of my life, a happy, fulfilled, single woman, than a satisfied, mother of three, just WAITING for the kids to go to college so she can leave her husband. Who, by the way, isn't a bad guy, he just isn't what she wanted. Doesn't make your insides go to mush, doesn't give you mini "O's" throughout the day when you think about him, and doesn't make you smile when you roll over and he's still sleeping.

So I propose a pact. We won't settle. No matter how desperate the situation may seem. You thought he was the what...he wasn't...moving on. He's your son/daughter's father....AND....thanks for the sperm...peace out. Any number of things that have us so strung out on these miserable, deadbeat, inconsiderate, self indulgent, over important, mama's boys. There are AMAZING men out there, and with us being so undying in our commitment to the other ones, we miss out. So, ladies, let's take this vow, leave a comment once you're done, and I promise we'll live longer lives, have better sex, make more headlines, and sleep soooo much better, if we stick to it. DISCLAIMER: "If your man doesn't fall into this category, be good to him, take care of him, and thank GOD for him. Ths also doesn't apply in a situation where ya'll are just "going through" something. I'm in no way a male basher, I'm just talking about the bad seed here."

WE will NOT Settle:

I vow, that I will not allow another man tp make me feel bad about being the woman that I am; That I will no longer, water down my personality, ambition, opinion, attitude, or values, to accomodate a man...there is a man somewhere that is big enough to handle BIG me! I promise to be good to MYSELF. I promise, that I will NOT settle for a man because I've fallen in love with the IDEA of being with him; nor will I stay with a man because I have birthed one or more of his children, if he doesn't deserve it. I will no longer set aside my dreams and aspirations of living the happiest and fullest life I can, because somebody put a clock in my ear and called it my biology. I promise to love me like I want to be loved, and stop waiting for someone else to do it. And above all else, when God sees fit to send me the man he created for me, I vow to keep HIM first, for without Him, I wouldn't have that great thing.

I love ya'll, be blessed...