Is He Gay?

When I was younger, I used to watch in awe as my older cousins and some of my unmarried aunts would sit around and talk about how hard it is to find a good man.  Then listen to the older members of the family, married aunts, potential grandmothers, etc. convince them that there's very little time left before it'll be too late to start a family.  This was ridiculous to me for a number of different reasons.  1.  I wasn't aware that childbearing years ended in your late twenties to early thirties; and 2.  That a woman becomes unmarriable if she reaches thirty without ever having been married....like, that means something's wrong with me.  I would always kind of laugh at this, because I wasn't a part of this demographic just yet, and there was plenty of time for me to get married and have babies and such.  Then I got older, lol.  And now these rantings are more and more being directed to me.  The funny part is that, they only start talking to me like this when I'm single.  If I have a boyfriend, I think they at least think I'm on track.  But when I'm doing this, "Independent Black Woman" thing, they get VERY nervous.  

I had dinner with my mom a few Sundays ago, and told her about a guy I've been seeing, and her face lit up like a child on Christmas morning...and then, she wanted to know EVERYTHING.  Where we've been, what does he do for a living, what do you talk about...and after giving her all of the required info, she sat back, and after a deep breath, sighed, "I'm SO relieved you're dating"...HUH?!  LOL, when did I become an old maid?  I'm only 27 years old!  Gimme a break, PLEASE!!  As mentioned in a previous blog, I used to wish that I'd gotten married in my early to mid twenties, and had one or two children by now, but CLEARLY, that ship has sailed.  I am a certified member of the late twenties crew.  And more importantly, if I had married any of the men that I was with back then, I would be in a SAD state of affairs right now...trust me.       

Never in my life did I think that my mother would be having the "I do want grandchildren, you know" conversation with me.  While I am quite happy with the course that my life has taken, and my current "romantic" station in life, her probings have made me think about the potential suitors that have crossed my path.  This isn't so much an issue for me, as I don't really tend to "play the field" all that much, but I have dibbled and dabbled enough to know that it's kinda rough out there.  Especially for a woman with a mother with marriage and grandbabies on the brain, lol.  

There's a saying that all the good men are either gay, married, or dead.  I don't totally agree with this, as I have been blessed to find one or two that are none of the above, present suitor included ;-) ...but I've noticed that there are a few other categories that should be added to include the truly "unmarriable" men, that are running rampid through the land.  Let's add the "little d*ck and don't know it", the "big d*ck and don't know what to do with it", the "minimally- or un-employed", "the whacker than whack", and my favorite... "the already married, but just doesn't care"...OH, and you can't forget the "Mama's Boy"...that one might not seem so bad, especially since we're told from a young age to pay attention to the way a man treats his mother, and you'll know how he's going to treat you, but that can spiral out of control real quick...trust me.

With approximately 50% of all men falling into one of the categories listed above...and another 25% that are perfectly normal, but just not quite gonna cut it, that leaves approximately 25% of the men on the earth that are even worth the time of day, lol.  Don't get me wrong...like I said, I've been blessed to come across a number of those that fall into that final  25% (this area must've gotten more than it's fair share, lol).  But please believe, I get quite a kick out of watching the others try their hand.  I can imagine how this plight would cause a woman to be melancholy, and even see herself as desperate.  But I implore you to find the humor in it, and you'll be too busy laughing at these losers to even hear the biological clock your mother is holding to your ear.  

I think every girl has a gay friend from high school or college that she made a pact to marry and breed with in the event that she was still single at a certain age.  In most cases we choose 40, lol.  Unfortunately, my gay husband just bought a house with his boyfriend, so I guess I'm just gonna have to do it the old fashioned way, lol.