Feeling Good!

Have you ever had a couple unnecessary things happen to you as you start your day and say to yourself, "Self, if one more thing happens, I'm going back home and getting in the bed until tomorrow"? Today started out as one of those days. I won't tell you all of the crazy things that happened to start the day, but let's just say, I was in such a rush, that I THOUGHT I'd put my contacts in backward, meaning the right one in the left eye and vice versa. So I'm sitting on the train, and ATTEMPTING to read my book, but I just can't focus, literally....I can't see. So I get off the train and haul it to my office. Go straight to the bathroom, and proceed to try and take out my left contact, with the intention of just switching them around. Much to my surprise, as I go for my pupil, I stick my whole finger directly in my eye...the cotton pickin' contact wasn't even IN there!! So, I pull out my contact case, and it isn't in there either. Lord have mercy!! I don't know when or how it happened, but I lost the stupid thing. All I could do was laugh, and throw out my right contact, and put on my glasses. Today's mishap, immediately followed me having way too much fun at my girl's wedding on Friday night, and sleeping with my contacts in, and my eye leaking ALL day Saturday. Help my Lord, I need to give my poor eyes a break. So, as I was saying, today started off as one of those, take my behind back home and get in the bed days.

I went about my day, had an unnecessarily long training at work, pizza for lunch, and then experienced a miracle. So much so, that I thought I'd write about it. I won't go into details, because the source of the miracle let's me know that some people that I thought couldn't get to me, actually can, but my closest friends know what I'm talking about. You don't need the details to get the point. Have you ever prayed for something so hard, and for so long, and waited without hearing anything, that you thought God forgot about you? And then you wait some more, and then you forget that you'd even asked for it? Then you finally just resign to be thankful that you haven't had to deal with it, and therefore be reminded that you aren't over it? Then out of nowhere, you're completely blindsided by something that should've sent you into the privacy room for tag team venting sessions with your girls to keep you from flying of the deep end. And just as you're about to go completely IN, you realize, I'm over this. Like, I'm really over it.

As you all know, I go to church every Sunday, and truly enjoy my time there. Yesterday was Youth Day at my church, which is really special to me, because everyone KNOWS how much I love the kids. Anyway, the preacher yesterday said, "Have you ever prayed for something for so long without an answer, until you just forget what you even prayed for? And then out of nowhere, God does exactly what he said he was going to do." This is one of those situations, and THAT is why I'm feeling good!!

Ok, so enought of that. I just had to give my testimony. I've been searching and searching my mental rolodex for topics that I'd like to discuss with you all. I think I'm going to talk about strangers today. Yes, I know. After you grow up, we don't really talk to much about strangers, mainly because they're no longer scary, as they were when we were little. But strangers are still around, and now instead of being scary, they're just plain irritating.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't have a need for any NEW friends. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new and cool people. When you start a new job, you meet new and hopefully cool people. If you move into a new place you may gain a new and cool roommate (Hi CJ!!!), and then inherit they're new and cool friends. Or, you may move to a new area, and start hanging out at new restaurants, bars, clubs, and meet new and cool people there. These are not the people I'm talking about. For me to be talking about these people would make me antisocial, and not very much fun to be around, and as we all know, neither of these could be farther from the truth.

(If you've read this blog before, you'll notice that a very funny paragraph is missing....I took it out because it just isn't true anymore, lol.)

So as time passes, every woman kind of asks herself questions surrounding when she'll get married, and start to have children and all of that (that is if you don't already have children...but you know what I mean). I went to dinner and a movie with two of my closet friends yesterday and we started talking about this whole thing. I'm the baby of this particular group, and the other ladies are 32 and 33, the older is happily married with two beautiful children, and has been married for ten years. SO, she has lived the life that we've all dreamed of! Although I will say, if I would've married to the man that I was in love with when I was 23, it would NOT have been a good thing...Praise the Lord and AMEN. My 32 year old girlfriend began to talk about how her standards have changed, and how, things that would've been deal breakers for her when she was my age, are now just minor "bumps" in the road. As I began to protest she said, "oh no, you're fine right now, but if you don't find somebody by the time you get to my age, your tune will change". Then I thought about it, and realized how sad this really is. Will we eventually have to settle? As we talked, and pointed out the differences in each of us, I realized a number of things that make one situation a bit more futile than the other. She is over thirty and I'm not (as a matter of fact, I told someone I was 22 at my birthday party and he didn't blink an eye!). She has no prospects, and that isn't the case with me. She'd rather settle than be alone, and what I've come to realize more and more everyday, is that, even though I don't want to be alone, and that I WANT to get married and have children, that I'd rather live the rest of my life, a happy, fulfilled, single woman, than a satisfied, mother of three, just WAITING for the kids to go to college so she can leave her husband. Who, by the way, isn't a bad guy, he just isn't what she wanted. Doesn't make your insides go to mush, doesn't give you mini "O's" throughout the day when you think about him, and doesn't make you smile when you roll over and he's still sleeping.

So I propose a pact. We won't settle. No matter how desperate the situation may seem. You thought he was the one...so what...he wasn't...moving on. He's your son/daughter's father....AND....thanks for the sperm...peace out. Any number of things that have us so strung out on these miserable, deadbeat, inconsiderate, self indulgent, over important, mama's boys. There are AMAZING men out there, and with us being so undying in our commitment to the other ones, we miss out. So, ladies, let's take this vow, leave a comment once you're done, and I promise we'll live longer lives, have better sex, make more headlines, and sleep soooo much better, if we stick to it. DISCLAIMER: "If your man doesn't fall into this category, be good to him, take care of him, and thank GOD for him. Ths also doesn't apply in a situation where ya'll are just "going through" something. I'm in no way a male basher, I'm just talking about the bad seed here."

WE will NOT Settle:

I vow, that I will not allow another man tp make me feel bad about being the woman that I am; That I will no longer, water down my personality, ambition, opinion, attitude, or values, to accomodate a man...there is a man somewhere that is big enough to handle BIG me! I promise to be good to MYSELF. I promise, that I will NOT settle for a man because I've fallen in love with the IDEA of being with him; nor will I stay with a man because I have birthed one or more of his children, if he doesn't deserve it. I will no longer set aside my dreams and aspirations of living the happiest and fullest life I can, because somebody put a clock in my ear and called it my biology. I promise to love me like I want to be loved, and stop waiting for someone else to do it. And above all else, when God sees fit to send me the man he created for me, I vow to keep HIM first, for without Him, I wouldn't have that great thing.

I love ya'll, be blessed...

MyMy